“…because that is every sanctimonious douchebag who pretends to be part of the solution when they’re the exact problem they pretend to be fighting against.”
Please, one of the 8 people that read this blog, tell me this is a joke. It’s a joke, right? They’re joking. They have to be. Please.
Only in Portland.
Two walking sticks in one day. First was a smelly hippy with his naturally found tree branch, Gandalf-wisdom stick at the coffee shop buying a bagel for his dog. Then a few hours later I saw a North Face, Patagonia, REI, 45 year-old dude with his ultra light, titanium, Nordic poles, walking up the sidewalk.
I have never, ever seen anybody using walking poles until I moved here.
Only in Portland.
Rain into showers into scattered T-storms…that’s what the weatherman on TV said the forecast is for tomorrow.
I can’t find a website to give me more than a previous month’s worth of weather history but I’m pretty sure the sun has come out 11 times since November.
Only in Portland.
Average rainfall in Portland for the month of December = 5.17”
Actual rainfall this December = 9.89”
Only in Portland.
I’ll have to continue going to the New Seasons that shares it’s lot with Walgreen’s.
Only in Portland.
Saw this on Facebook:
Is anyone looking to sell a turntable/receiver/speakers? I don’t have a ton of money but I would be willing to do a half cash, half produce trade. Let me know!
4 minutes ago · Comment · Like
Only in Portland.
We have a rat problem in our backyard. They’re big and they walk around in the middle of the day…while we’re out there playing. “Next door neighbor A” called an exterminator that put traps down. He was a real pro. Still have rats so we decided to buy some poison. Our neighbor’s in the duplex on the other side of the house both have cats…that come in our yard. How do I know? Because there is cat shit in our yard everyday. And do they know they’re shitting in our yard? Yes. And do they know that we know that they know they’re shitting our yard? Yes. So, being thoughtful, we told both neighbors that we’re going to be putting rat poison down. “Neighbor B” was fine. “Neighbor C” is a fucking idiot. She came over asking if we’d put a piece of wood up on our driveway gate so HER CAT wouldn’t be tempted to go in our yard. Since the other side of our house has no fence I told her that it doesn’t make much sense to do that. She then suggested we call the city since the rats are a nuisance to “everybody”. Actually, the rats aren’t in her yard so she’s not being bothered at all. But besides the rats in our yard…you know what else is a nuisance? HER FUCKING CATS coming in our yard and SHITTING.
And why is it ok for a cat to shit in a neighbor’s yard but not a dog? Is it just the size? If a neighbor’s dog was shitting in my yard there would be NO ARGUMENT about making it stop.
Our neighbor called the city because she wants her cats to be allowed to shit in our yard without the threat of being near rat poison. Idiot. This is same person that said, “Well, people in Florida don’t have the same consciousness as people in Oregon” regarding “Neighbor B’s” visiting father from FLA that smoked, of all evils, Camel’s.
Christ, one more thing…this lady has to call and clap every night to try and get her cat back INSIDE her house because it doesn’t want to go in. Take a fucking hint.
Only in Portland.
The other day at a work a customer left on the counter a plastic water bottle with probably 3 or 4 ounces of water in it. There was no cap on it. Throughout the night I went from not caring to being really annoyed by it. I couldn’t throw it away [I mean, recycle it] because I didn’t want to spill the water all over. I also kept inadvertently almost taking a sip out of it thinking it was mine. And every time I went to the bathroom, where I could have dumped out the water, I always forgot to bring it with me. So closing time finally happens and I walk outside to dump the remaining water out in the street. A guy walking up the sidewalk toward me says, “Are you dumping that water out?” Thinking it was a rhetorical question, since the guy was obviously not blind, I didn’t respond to his stellar question. Then he says, “Well shame on you” at which point I was able to turn the bottle right-side-up saving a bit of the water and said, “Do YOU want it?”
“Uh…no” was his answer.
Not quite sure what this fucking tool wanted me to do with it. Drink it? Find a plant and pour it in the pot? Mail it to Senegal? Take it home and wash a dish or two with it?
Only in Portland.
